Jan 04

Three Steps to Making New Year Resolutions Actually Happen

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.” – Mark Twain

It’s that time of year again, where we all celebrate the coming of a New Year, and of course make goals (resolutions) for the coming year. If you are like most people, it is probably not a surprise that research shows that almost 9 out of 10 resolutions fail. Research has also shown that while most people sincerely wish to follow through with their resolutions, within the first few weeks of the new year, most people already begin to slide back into old habits or modes of thinking, and within a few months, most people are back where they started (or even worse off). A major problem with the making and subsequent failure of resolutions is that it can lead to depression, and the reinforcement of negative modes of thinking (“I can’t do ______”, or “I have tried to _____, and failed each time”). New Year resolutions can be powerful motivation to effect positive change in your life, but it is important to understand what you really want to change about your life, and understand how to succeed, and then follow through, whether it be January 1st, or any other day of the year.

The reason that most resolutions fail is because 1) They are unrealistic, and a reasonable plan to accomplish the goal isn’t followed, 2) You aren’t truly ready to change, and 3) the underlying root cause of the problems/issues are not addressed by simply resolving to “change”.

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Dec 20

Unwinding in Nature

Awesome sunset just after setting up camp.

With the hectic whirlwind of the holiday season upon us, it is important to take time to slow down and relax. In order to facilitate this, and enjoy some quality time together, several friends and I decided to go on a camping trip over the weekend. While choosing to undertake a camping trip in mid December meant for a cold trip, a great time was had by all, and it was a wonderful time for camaraderie, reflection, and relaxation.

During most of the year, and especially during the holidays, most of us simply buzz from one project to the next, much like a busy worker bee, and never take any time to unplug and reflect. I know that lately I have been flustered and out-of-touch because I have been trying to get caught up at work so that I can cross off many of the legal cases and projects that I have working on prior to the new year, while trying to plan holiday gatherings, and finish holiday shopping, in addition to editing chapters for my book, and writing content for this blog. Therefore, a weekend away from the rat race in order to unplug and unwind is just what i needed, and is probably a remedy that many of us could use. Read the rest of this entry »

Nov 29

Enjoy What Makes You Happy

My son enjoying the splash pad at the Oklahoma City Zoo

The U.S. just finished celebrating Thanksgiving Day, which is a wonderful holiday devoted to spending time with friends, family, and giving thanks for the many blessings in our lives. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because I am able to take a break from work and everyday life to just slow down and enjoy some down time. I am thankful that my work gives everyone a four (4) day weekend off to enjoy the holiday, and during these days off I have really enjoyed unwinding and releasing some stress and tension that has been building up.

Too often we get caught up in the rat race of life, and we fail to really slow down and enjoy life, and the things that make us happy. We tend to push things the things that make us happy like spending time with friends, family, relaxing with a good book or a movie, to the side or marginalize them. Generally this leads to stress and general feelings of unhappiness and discontentment.

I think it is key to really identify the things in your life that make you happy, and make time for those activities, people, or groups. Even if what makes you happy seems to be mundane or a “waste of time” it is neither of those if it makes you happy, because sometimes the simplest things in our lives bring us the most pleasure. Of course it is important to make sure that the activities, people, or groups that make us happy aren’t based on attachments for material possessions, or support destructive behaviors, because that can cause the cycle of stress and general unhappiness to perpetuate itself.

While this may seem overly simplistic, we must make time to enjoy the things that make us happy. For me, family and friends are an important part of my life and bring me a great amount of joy and happiness, and so does reading, writing (which this blog is a wonderful outlet for), and driving my old Corvette (weather permitting of course). I know that no matter how stressed out I am, I can turn to these things to bring a sense of comfort and happiness, so they have become a bit of a refuge that I can turn to.

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Nov 18

Another Birthday, A Time to Reflect and Be Thankful

I have always liked birthday parties!

Today, on my birthday, I awoke to my iPhone notifying me that I had over 60 postings on my Facebook wall (all before 7:00am!). As I went through my morning routine I scrolled through the numerous birthday wishes, and it was a pleasure to see so many people wish me a happy birthday, many of whom I have not seen or spoken to in person for many years.

I have always made a habit of using my birthday as a time of reflection. This year I was struck by how much my life has changed during the past few years, and how many new friends I have made along the way, and how many I have lost touch with. Read the rest of this entry »

Nov 15

Finding Beauty in the Ordinary

Old Dodge Work Truck. It has had had a hard life, yet it is still beautiful.

I have recently found the website/community www.soulpancake.com, where spiritual seekers of all faiths, backgrounds, and viewpoints discuss various topics involving faith, religion, spirituality, and life in general.

Recently there was an activity which encouraged the users to take pictures of ordinary things that would normally go unnoticed, but that are inspiring in some way. This idea really resonated with me, because living in the now requires you to slow down and really experience life and the world around you. Therefore, for the past few weeks I have tried to really tune into the mundane things that surround each of us for inspiring material.

As I have mentioned previously I have a bad tendency to put my head down and push through every task in front of me, including in my spiritual path. While I have made tremendous progress in slowing down and enjoying life, I tend to focus on my emotions, thoughts, and general awareness, rather than my individual physical senses; therefore this visual activity was extremely useful for me.

The following are some pictures that I have taken over the past few weeks with a brief description of why I found the subject material interesting and/or inspiring:

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Oct 31

Occupy Your Life

NYC at Night

This year has been a time of change and protest around the world. The protestors involved in the so called “Arab Spring” facilitated the toppling of the Tunisian, Egyptian, and Libyan regimes, and have made significant impacts on numerous other Arab countries. During the past few weeks the various news sources, social media sites, and blogs have been abuzz with the “Occupy Wall Street” movement that began in the Wall Street district of New York City, and has subsequently spread to various cities across the U.S. Like the protestors involved in the Arab Spring, the Occupy protestors are standing up against the status quo in order to protest for change. One thing that has struck from all the protests, both from the Arab Spring and the Occupy movement, is the passion and resolve displayed by the protestors in order to bring about change.

So passionate are the protestors that they have put their lives on hold, and even completely changed the direction of their life in order to protest for change. In the case of the Arab Spring, those protestors quite literally put their lives, and the lives of their families at risk. However, given Oakland California’s recent heavy-handed response to the protestors, it appears that the protestors from the Occupy movement are not immune from the risk of physical harm, and even death.

The way that all of the protestors have been willing to completely give up the life they knew in order to pursue a cause they believed in reminded me of several religious and political leaders including: The Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, Gandhi, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., to just name a few. Read the rest of this entry »

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