“We should find perfect existence through imperfect existence.” – Shunryu Suzuki
Life has continued to be very hectic for me in the past few weeks, and my hectic schedule was made more difficult by a Rhumatoid Arthritis flare that struck me last week. Between the stress, pain, and crap-mood inducing steroids, I really struggled to stay “tuned-in”. When I would try to meditate, catch up on some reading, or even just take some quiet time to reflect, I found myself being distracted by joint pain, or miffed about something, or a combination thereof.
Saturday morning, it was cool and rainy, but for the first time in about a week, I felt well enough to actually get up and walk around without a tremendous amount of pain. Luckily, the rain took a long enough break, that I was able to take my old corvette for a little joy ride. As I was driving, just as I did several weeks ago during a particularly hectic work week, I ran through a quick emotional and physical checklist, and quickly figured out that I really needed to “snap out of it”. Even if I was in pain, even if I was in a bad mood (drug induced or not), I needed to still strive to be the best person I could be, rather than simple wallow in negativity. After all, negativity doesn’t help yourself, or anyone around you.
As I was driving I began to look around my old Corvette and notice some of its minor character flaws. While my Corvette is no museum piece, it is in really good shape for a 37 year old sports car (most sports cars are driven into the ground… literally). However, the old girl has some faded spots, some cracks, some squeaks, etc. (I can relate). However, it has been recently restored, and almost all of these things would go wholly unnoticed by anyone other than myself. In the same way, we each have minor character flaws, many of which we keep deeply hidden, so as to put our best face out into the world, even if we are full of turmoil inside.
I think the key is to be in-tune with yourself enough to actually realize your current inner-state, honestly evaluate it, and rectify it as best you can. While the drugs may have made me more acceptable to negativity, I needed to put in place an extra mental and emotional filter, in order to deal with it the best I could. Did I deal with it perfectly? Of course not. Did I deal with it better? I think so.
Another key is to not beat yourself up when you aren’t “perfect”. Nobody is perfect, we can just do the best we can. Sure, I would like to be more productive at work, write content more often for this blog, and write more articles and books, all the while being the perfect husband, father, and a perfectly enlightened being. The truth is, I can just do what I can do, the best that I can do it. I will continue to be the best person that I can be on the inside, while reflecting that on the outside. I will continue to try and rectify my flaws, while finding inspiration in the world around me. Most of all, I will continue to realize that I am imperfectly perfect, and that is just fine.
Practical Tip: Take a moment to write down, or just think about the person who you would like to be. How do you want to be viewed by the world? What goals would you like to accomplish? Then look inside, and think of all the ways that you are already that person. Think about the steps that you are taking to accomplish your goals. Try, and turn any negative thoughts, emotions, or “flaws”, into something positive, use them as motivation.
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